Of Werewolves and Cats

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There's a show on BBCA called "Being Human."  Awesome show about a vampire, ghost and werewolf who are all roommates.  To make a long story short, this past week the werewolf decided to put a cage in a room and take tranquilizers so that when he transforms he'll be in a safe place, won't kill anyone and sleep through the whole thing.  

It worked!  Well, at least until the next day when he discovered there were side-effects.  For no apparent reason, he would begin yelling out cuss words.  He'd try putting his hand over his mouth, but the stuff still flew.  At days end, he told his roommates that the werewolf in him felt deprived, cheated because it hadn't been allowed to do it's thing.

I feel a bit like that this week.  Since Bindi died, I haven't been able to really grieve.  It's impossible when people are constantly around you.  Thankfully, this morning was different.  Mom was finally back in school and Sklya had her first day of school out near the high school.  I had the farm to myself.  Just me and the cats.  Bliss.

So, I'm lying on the futon watching tv and one of the kittens hops up on the arm of the futon and begins cleaning itself, occasionally licking my head.  That's what  Bindi used to do.  He would lick and lick my head till that one spot was soaked.  He was so funny.  

Anyway, I broke down and cried.  It felt good to finally cry when a memory made me want to.  It felt good to finally get it out. 

While I was crying, I realised something important.  My heart, like George's werewolf, has felt deprived in not being able to do it's thing - grieve, but unlike George's werewolf, my body didn't respond with sudden outbursts of anger and hilarious outbursts of cussing.  My body responded in the only way it knows how - by sending my Dystonia into fits.  Once I was able to cry, with the freedom of knowing I wasn't going to be interrupted, my body began to feel better.     

Of course it wasn't just Bindi that was sending my body into chaos, there were a couple secondary things as well, but the main one was holding in emotions that needed to express themselves.  It's a lesson worth remembering.

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A Tribute to Bindi Sue

Bindi Sue

August 2006 - August 2010

Bindi has been missing since Friday.  He's never been gone this long and since Chubby passed on around the end of July, I thought I'd go ahead and write up Bindi's tribute.  If I'm lucky he'll show up after I post this.  I wrote Tiger's twice and he died two years later.  Hoping the same for this one.  : )

Anyway, Bindi & his siblings were born the month before Steve Irwin died.  I didn't have names for the kittens yet, so thinking Bindi was a girl (he was so hairy I couldn't tell), he was named after Bindi Sue Irwin, of whom was name after a crocodile.  And that's how Bindi became the boy name Sue.  (His sister was named Little Stevie.  Jeffie the Mighty was named after Jeff Corwin. Then there was the oddball, Pee Wee, named after a friend of the family.)

 

 

Bindi and Jeffie take a sip while out on our daily adventures.

Bindi loved to go on hiking trips.  Every time he saw me go near the gate to the lower pasture he dived under the fence and looked back to see if I was coming.  A number of chipmunks lost their lives on those trips.  He also loved the teepee.  

 

Bindi loved to curl up in the snow.

 

Then sit by the base heater to get warm.  Sadly, he kept singeing the hair off his tail and I had to ditch the base heater.

Bindi wishing everyone would get off his ironing board.

My beautiful BinBin.

Bindi out hiking.

Bindi asleep on my table.

This past year was pretty tough for Bindi.  November 2009, he managed to break his tail.  The vets said it's the worst break they had ever seen and were surprised Bindi lived.  It left his backside really tender and he'd cry out everytime one of the other cats touched him.  He also developed an allergy that led to his skin becoming scaley.  So, it's been a tough year.

The vet had told me before that if people want their pets to live - keep them indoors.  I tried for almost a full 4 years with Bindi, but he began to rebel.  Around May, I think, he finally got his way and I started letting him out at nite.  It was the only way to get any sleep, literally.  I hated doing it, but I hated not sleeping even more.

Kelly (vet) said the life expectancy of an outside animal is 1 - 3 years.  Bindi made it about 3.  It's really annoying how life goes.  Even among humans the good die and the jerks get to live long annoying lives.  Bindi was a sweetheart, and evil Kitty, jerky Spotty and that stupid black cat who keeps trying to beat up Jeffie live on. 

I miss you little buddy.

A grumpy sunday

This has been a pretty crappy weekend and therefore read no further because I'm goina k'vetch.  Actually, it's been a crappy summer.  The heat and humidity have been so intense that I've had to stay in to keep my dystonia from giving me fits.  

I miss the outdoors, which is why I'm k'vetching.  I tried going outside about 15 minutes ago, but it's still 87 at 70% humidity.  bummer.  I wanted to sit outside so I could sketch and paint.  Not happening.

Getting my Power 90 workouts in has also been tough.  Even with the a/c running and the fan blowing on me, the heat is still intense.  Of course, part of that could also be menopause.  LOL  Anyway, right now - I'm living for the first snowfall.  : )

On the interesting side, yesterday I was reading, "The Country Diary of An Edwardian Lady."  The diary is from her entries in 1909.  For August she said that it had rained most of the month, but in England it was the sunniest on record.  Sunniest = driest.  I'm sure somewhere there was probably a little idiot yelling, "Global warming!!!" rather than accepting the reality that seasonal tortures come and go.  : )

Anyway, that's my k'vetch for the nite.  tootles!

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Power 90 - Day 31: sculpting and it's still hot

Two degrees cooler than last nights workout.  This time it was only 80. : )  Anyway, BBCA is running a Primeval marathon today and I couldn't bring myself to shut it off and workout to the P90 dvd.  So, I went by the book and added some extra stuff and had a great time!  I even felt more exhausted than I do when I workout with the dvd.  Sweet!  : )  Once more, though, I really wished I had the P90X.  

Yes, I'll probably order it long before I'm finished with P90.  I was reading on twitter that some other folks made the switch before they finished P90 as well.  Would I recommend P90?  Yes, if you were totally out of shape, of which I'm not. That's a happy thought!  : )


 

Power 90 - Day 30 update

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Day 30 was a tough workout.  It was freaking hot in the cottage - 82.  Even with the fan running on me and the a/c going I still had to take breaks inbetween rounds.  But!  I completed my mission and got it done.  Proud beyond words.  It's hard to workout in the heat.

Worked out to the Fat Burning dvd.  It's still my fave.  The regular Power 90 dvd's are a bit boring, but I think that's because of the dull backgrounds.  It rather sucks the life out of you.  Anyway, looking forward to day 31.

Power 90 - the journey so far

Welp, did my second set of pics yesterday. Didn't see much difference, but the important thing I did notice is that I looked stronger in the way I stood.  I looked a bit wimpy in my first set of pics, so I'm really proud of that.

Last week was tough.  I was having major fatigue attacks and only got in about 3 days training.  I tried on the other days, but just didn't have the strength.  When you can barely do any yoga and simply fall to the mat and hope you can get up again, ROFL, it's time to take a break.  

Last nite, sculpting,  I didn't get to my workout until 10 pm.  It went great and I felt really strong, so missing those 3 days was no big deal.

Still wrestling with my diet.  Working hard this week to keep to the mission.

To keep myself motivated, I'm listening to Billy Blanks motivational CD's.  They're great when you need that extra push.  I really like Tony Horton, but Blanks still rocks when it comes to helping you work from the inside out.  That's the secret to succeeding and sometimes you need someone to push you in this area to keep you from just going through the motions.

Anyway, looking for this to be a great week!

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Power 90: Day 24 - Sculpting

Image by sportsandsocial via Flickr

Picked up an RF modulator today so I can finally use my dvd player in the living room.  Working out in my dark bedroom, on a hard floor with no a/c has been tough.  Anyway, tonite, for the first time since I started P90, I got to workout in my well lit living room, in a/c on a carpeted floor.  It made all the difference in the world.  : )

What surprised me most about my workout is that Rex stopped on me in Rutland and I had to push him about 1.7 miles home.  That's pushing a little over 200 pounds that far.  I was dead on my feet and made a dash for the shower when I got in to cool down.  So, that makes me all the more proud of tonite's workout.  : )

As for yesterday - impossible.   Dystonia fatigue ruled the day.  Bummer. But!  I tried twice, with two different dvd's trying to find one that I might still be able to workout with.  I failed on each, but that's cool. 

Power 90: Day 22 - Sculpting

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True confession, didn't really want to do my workout early this morning.  I had really enjoyed my day off over Shabbos and wanted to drag the break out another day.  But!  Then I did a measurements check and thought they stunk.  So!  I gave my workout everything I had.  : )

Sometimes all it takes is looking at the stats and deciding if you want to be the one who didn't do well with Power 90.  lol  I examined everything I'd been doing that was holding me back from better progress, and it all came down to my diet and not enough moving around during the day.  So, this week, the menus are planned out and new batteries are in the recumbent exercise bike so I can track my time.

Next Monday, is my next picture taking day.  I want to see some signs of improvement. 

Tribute to Mrs. Rice

Mrs. Rice passed on today.  B"H, there was no suffering, just fall down and gone.  I'd like to go that way, or in my sleep.  Just quick and simple.  

Mrs. Rice was probably the coolest old lady you could meet.  She always had a big smile and always willing to lend a hand.  She always looked happy, even a couple years ago when she lost her oldest daughter, several months later her husband, several months later her oldest son and not too long after that - she lost a son-in-law.  She still gave you a big happy smile.

One of the things I remember growing up, is her home was always open and you never knew what to expect when you went it.  Like, you might find flour all over the kitchen (literally), where her girls were experimenting with cooking.  LOL  She never minded it and thought it was great.


She also raised great kids who were just like her - always a big smile no matter how bad things are and always willing to lend a hand.


I feel deeply for her daughter Rosemary right now.  She has not only lost her sister, brother, dad and her husband, in the past couple years but now her mom, who she moved in with after her own husband died.

Mrs. Rice admired her Rosemary.  When she was bringing me back with Conner from the vet, she said she couldn't get over how Rosemary could always look happy, always be laughing no matter how unhappy she was or how bad she hurt.  Well, Mrs Rice, she got it from you and that's one wonderful gift to pass on to your children.  

You'll be missed.